Timeline

Five and a half years ago, I was here:

Sydney is one of the most beautiful cities in the world, on top of being one of the most unique. I fell in love with it the moment I stepped off the plane - and though I was only there one weekend out of the entire month I was in Australia, I instantly made it my goal to go back again someday.

One year ago, Chris and I decided to move there. To Melbourne, actually, where we have some friends who would help us until we were able to stand on our own two feet. We sold our condo, moved in with my parents, and started on our visa.

Eight months ago, we found a rockin' awesome deal on tickets to Aussie land, which we took the liberty of purchasing (only to find out later how drawn out the visa process really is... a fact we hadn't realized until after taking a chunk out of our pockets). We figured we could just push the trip back for as long as we needed to. No worries.

Four months ago, we read a positive pregnancy test... and realized our dream of Australia would be put on the back burner indefinitely (but also realized how great the new adventure before us would be). But, having purchased our plane tickets already, we decided to have a great 3rd anniversary in the land down under.

Three months ago, we moved into a new apartment. We were ready to have our own space, and we knew it was needed with a baby on the way.

Two months ago, I lost my job. And while we had saved up some money while we were in the 'rents house, we quickly used that up with our new rent and utilities to pay.

So... we quickly realized, with our savings dwindling, that although we'd be able to get to Australia, our funds would be low while there... next to non-existant. It was then we had to decide whether or not to go anyway. Deciding it was the smart thing to do and knowing we'd eventually get there one day, we decided to cancel our trip.

A week and a half ago was our anniversary. Because we take turns every year planning it, I wanted to make it at least a little bit special.... though nothing could compare to a 14 hour flight, the destination being half way across the world (which was the original plan). I decided, a little too late, to use destinations around the valley to make it seem a bit like Australia. The Daybreak "beach," The zoo, Outback Steakhouse, etc.

The only stop we ended up at was this one: The Sydney "harbor bridge" (the overpass on Wasatch between 4500 South and 3900 South). We watched the sunset and enjoyed each other, until the cold was too much to handle. Later, we went to Ruby River... we weren't in the mood for the Outback.

Belly Shots...

This is me at 16 weeks (and looking rather happy, I might add).

This is me at 17 weeks (seriously not sticking out my gut). Amazing, isn't it, what a difference a week can make? I am now 19 weeks... and feel even more large, which is only a smidgeon of what I will feel, I am sure.
I always wanted to be one of those "cute" prego women who gain weight nowhere but their belly. To my dismay, that is definitely not the case with the girl pictured here. I want to say that it's quite amusing the way the rest of me (mostly below the waist) is growing as well... and while I know it's for a good reason, it doesn't quite make me feel better. While some women are lucky enough to wear the same pants they wore before pregnancy, I am forced to buy maternity clothes - which I will only be wearing for four and a half months. And force is, really, necessary. Especially for those of us who can't afford new clothes because we are trying to save every penny for the baby. And the maternity market knows that while we'd rather not buy clothes that will only last us six months (at the most), we have no choice. So, not only are we forced to pay way too much money for what we don't want, but some of us may not ever use them again. And if we do, who knows what will and won't be in style when our next kids decide to come. Sigh...

On the other hand, my sister in law just had her baby - and seeing the proud parents at the hospital and their new sweet little one was all I needed to get me even more excited for our little boy to grace us with his presence.

By the way, his name is Jack.

The Leaning Tower of Dishes

While my days of dreaming about a dishwasher are far from being over, I'm forced to settle with this... handwashing. Ah, the joys. Rather than drying the first half before digging into the second (which just leaves me washing dishes far longer than I'd prefer), this is the result. A literally leaning tower of dishes that, miraculously, stay put (as long as I'm strategic with the way I place them).

I guess it doesn't look too bad in this picture, but I'm really surprised, not to mention thankful, that there aren't more accidents in my kitchen (knock on wood).

He's Coming...

And looking rather cute already. We are so excited for our little guy to be here!

"It" is a he... and he wasn't ashamed to show us....

I'm amazed at how much they can see for something just four and a half inches long. I can't say how grateful I am for modern technology. Nor can I say how grateful I am to my friend Caley, who made this ultrasound possible for us. You are the best!

And, I was right. It does feel more real now that we know what he is. Looking forward to the next six months... hopefully I can see more of this tiny thing in my tummy.

It Can Only Mean One Thing...

Let's face it. I'm getting a little tired of peeing myself when I sneeze. And, while we're on the subject, why is it that when I have to pee and come even remotely close to a toilet that my bladder screams in protest because I'm not sitting on it?

Why is it that when I'm hungry, it's a matter of life or death?

Why is it that I cry at the drop of a hat?

Why is it that I have cravings for ramen noodles, of all things (so yucky... but sooo good)?

Why is it that it's getting uncomfortable to sleep at night (because I have to be on my side)?

I guess there can only be one answer....

For those of you who are unfamiliar with home pregnancy tests from the dollar store, two lines means what you think it does... I am 15 weeks (nearly four months) along now (as of Monday Sep. 14), my official due date March 8th. I'm having a baby!

It's all pretty crazy... but mostly exciting. To think of having our own mini Heidi or Chris puts a smile on my face... most days. I won't lie and say that I haven't felt the worry, fear and stress that comes with knowing our world is about to change drastically, especially with everything happening lately. Talk about high highs and low lows. However, I will say that now the initial shock of losing my job is gone, I've been able to enjoy myself at home - and find myself still busy. I also find myself wondering how moving into a new place and getting everything settled ever gets done when you work full time. It seems natural for me to be home, and though the money (or lack of) isn't our favorite part of it all, we're trying to get used to just one income.

I will say that this whole pregnancy thing doesn't seem real yet, although I've had a few appointments and a couple of ultrasounds already. We were able to hear the heartbeat at 12 weeks... which was unreal. It's amazing to see what they can pick up when your baby is so tiny! But, I'm not showing quite yet (that anyone other than me can see), and I haven't felt the baby move. But I think we may be finding out what we're having next week... so perhaps it will start to feel real then. For now, excitement is our main emotion... and luckily, it downplays all that worry, fear, and stress.

I don't have too many complaints, because I know it will all be worth it. I can't say it's easy to deal with who I am now, though - in addition to everything I named above, there's the fact that I can't eat chicken. Or turkey. Or beef... most times. Meat in general is pretty much a downer. I can't stomach sweets. I looove anything salty. It just happens to be that the only things I crave involve spending money... which doesn't help because we don't have any.

Luckily, ramen noodles don't cost much. Neither does mac and cheese... pre-pregnancy I wouldn't have given a second thought to these foods that don't do my body any good... but I find it very convenient that when taking care of my body is most critical, I don't want healthy. Except for veggies. Oooo, veggies....

My New Favorite Toy

We got one for our wedding - which will be three years ago next month... and we used it for the first time a couple weeks ago. Seriously, a must have in every kitchen. There are recipes inside the instruction booklet - everything from lemon berry sorbet to vanilla bean ice cream. Love it.

Happiness Is...

I'm convinced that happiness is something you have to make yourself. Though life can be crazy and throw you some curves you never saw coming, there are some things that can make you undeniably happy.

These things have given me a reason to smile... because, how does the saying go? If lemons are all you have to work with, you might as well make lemonade.

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Having a favorite dinner on a makeshift table (aka laundry basket) when you first move in to a new apartment.

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Getting flowers from your hubby in the middle of a crappy day at work

"Sorry about the job. Just remember I love you." - Chris

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A new haircut :)

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Seeing signs like this:

"Lemonade 10 cents

saving for my mission

10 cents"

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Making dinner for the first time in a new apartment

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Sisters.

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I do have a wonderful life.

Life's Slogan

While I probably should put on a happy face through my trials because they will "only make me stronger" (which I know is true but just don't want to admit it), I've just chosen to deal with mine the best I can. I cry when I need to (which is more frequently than I maybe should), pray when I need to (a lot), talk about it when I need to... and I can't help but think, all the time, about the messes I've been handed.

As much as I've thought about elaborating on my "poor me" list, I've decided against it. Whining (for the most part) is not what I'm about. And, on the other hand, I'm positive these aren't the first occurrences of these particular situations. To me, yes. But I'm sure there are countless numbers of others who have found themselves thinking, "what now?" after being attacked from every side with obstacles that are "good" for them and wondering what's next. And, on the other hand, it definitely could be worse. But apparently, when it rains, it POURS. And I'm still not ready to welcome it.

Things will look up, I'm positive about that. Perhaps, things "looking up" will mean just dealing with it the best I can, and praying I'll get through it with some help. I know I'm surrounded by great people that are here for me (thank you to my friends and family, especially to my sweet husband who's been there for me with a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. I love you and love that you care about me).

For now, I guess I'll just be waiting for something else to go wrong... because, as of late, life has seemed to enjoy handing me chaos-filled situations and saying,

"Have a crappy day."

The Robster.

My sister's son Robby, I'm not afraid to say, is a genius. His obsession with letters started around 18 months or so (maybe sooner). He knew all of the alphabet, along with their sounds, and even started to spell words, gaining quite the vocabulary at age two. 

At age three (now),  he happily replies, "I want to learn!" when asked by his mother what he wants to do on any given day.

 

His obsession recently has been states. Once he learned them all, he moved on to state capitols (he can name them all... which I can't even come close to doing). Next, he was on to countries. He started with South America, learning all of the countries within the continent, and their capitol cities. His room is covered with maps of the world, and his punishment when he does something wrong is to take them down, which will make him cry more than anything else.

Unfortunately, I don't see him much. Holly's family lives in Florida, where the plane tickets don't come cheap. I am grateful for modern technology - computers, blogs, web cams, email, and the telephone. Holly fills me in with the details when she can, and there have been a couple of recent "Robby-isms" that have stuck with me. This kid is a crack up.

He has overheard his parents say that he is a genius, but I'm not sure he fully knew what a genius was. However, the following statement made by him suggests otherwise.

Holly (paraphrasing): "Robby, it's time for you to take a nap."

Robby: "I don't need a nap! I am a genius!"

He also has an impeccable memory, and loves music. Holly has recently shown him the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air rap, which he will watch over and over again. After learning part of it, I give you another reason why this kid is just too much... and much too cute.

Holly (on the phone, away from home, talking to Robby): "Hey buddy, how are you?"

Robby: "Good. I miss you, mom."

Holly: "What are you doing?"

Robby: "Just chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool."

Not only is he a genius, he apparently has the wit to match. I'm thinking he probably got that from me. (I really just wish I was that cool.)

August Reading

For those of you who read and liked the Host, I have to apologize for the fact that I never finished it. It had to be one of the most boring books I've read in a while... and so, I had to surrender. 

I decided to move on to a book that I've had on my shelf for quite some time, waiting for me to finish that darn Host. I can't tell you how much better it feels to look at the book you're in the middle of and want to read it... it makes all the difference in the world.

The book this month will be The Pact: A Love Story, by Jodi Picoult (same author as My Sister's Keeper). The description is below, for anyone who might be interested.

Until the phone calls came at 3:00 A.M. on a November morning, the Golds and their neighbors, the Hartes, had been inseparable. It was no surprise to anyone when their teenage children, Chris and Emily, began showing signs that their relationship was moving beyond that of lifelong friends. But now seventeen-year-old Emily has been shot to death by her beloved and devoted Chris as part of an apparent suicide pact -- leaving two devastated families stranded in the dark and dense predawn, desperate for answers about an unthinkable act and the children they never really knew.