Lessons

A few of weeks ago, as I was trying to get ready for church and my small 20 pound of a son was being uncooperative as to letting me, I tried to count my blessings. I was unsuccessful.

Later, in our first meeting, there was a poem read about rambunctious sons growing up and turning into wonderful young men... but I missed most of it, because my own rambunctious bundle of joy was throwing a fit (which he is so good at). I again tried to count my blessings... and, again, was unsuccessful.

I know I'm not lacking in blessings - I know what they are; I have many - but I was not happy, and inside, I was blaming it on my son. Because he was being a normal one-year-old. And my husband, being a naturally positive person (most of the time; usually when I'm being the opposite), wasn't helping as he was trying to "help" me relax by telling me what not to do.

I shouldn't have acted the way I did... which is giving everyone the "silent treatment" and shutting everyone out (including my sweet little guy), which is the norm for me when I get angry.

When this happens, I usually try to take a good look at myself and try to discover what I'm doing wrong. The lesson on honesty we had in Relief Society helped with that. It's incredible how much we justify the small things we do each day... a song we listen to because it has "a good beat" though the lyrics are trash. A justification that glutony is ok when it comes to oreos (or anything unhealthy) because "I normally eat healthy." Buying something that's not in the budget because I talk myself into needing it, or it's too cute, or too good of a deal, to pass up.

To be honest, we need to think honestly, which isn't always easy to do. For example, no matter how hard I try to avoid it, gossip always seems to surface somehow, in some form, whether I'm listening to it or contributing.

At the beginning of the year, our ward theme, "The best is yet to come," was announced in ward conference. In conjuction with the theme was the first presidency message in the Ensign, "Looking for the good." We were then asked this: when is the best to come? Could it be today? Are we looking for the good in our every day lives?

In Relief Society that week, a member of the stake presidency spoke to us about looking for the good. The spirit was overwhelming and taught me a lesson I won't soon forget. After the meeting, I found my way to the front and thanked him for his remarks - and told him I was thankful that my husband took our one-year-old son that hour, because I needed to hear what was said. He said, "you're the mother of a one-year-old?" I said, "yes." He then took a post it note from the inside of his binder with a quote written on it. He said, "I didn't use this, but I wrote it down because I felt that someone might need it. Maybe that's you."

"Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It’s about understanding that he is exactly the person he is supposed to be, and if you’re lucky, he might be the teacher who turns you into the person you are supposed to be."

He was right. I did need it. And I knew it was a great quote at the time, but it wasn't until that bad morning, and since, that it has really helped me. I say often that It's a good thing Jack is so cute... because he drives me crazy sometimes. But, I am confident that he will turn me into the person that I am supposed to be if I am patient and work on being the mom he needs me to be. I know it won't be easy, but I think it will be worth it.

Meanwhile, I will do my best to look for the good and focus on the positive, especially in motherhood. I really am blessed... I just need a good reminder sometimes.

OUCH

CAUTION: this blog entry contains graphic images. It is not for the faint of heart.

A couple of weeks ago, I received a text from Chris saying he was at the insta-care... but not to worry, he said. He was okay.

He was working with an inside pipe cutter at work (the tool pictured below).
It was caught on his glove by accident, worked its way into his hand, and left this tiny little gash (this is what he said he was "okay" about).

Even the doctor's response to it was "That's a doosey..." (And for good reason. However, that's probably not what you want to hear from a doctor.)

Cleaning it up. Sick.

He ended up with 12 stitches (six on top and six underneath), keeping it wrapped up for a couple of weeks. As you can imagine, it left a pretty good scar.

I am extremely grateful it wasn't as bad as it could have been... but, as you can see by the images, it wasn't a fun experience.

Hair No More

It was time. As much as I loved trying to tame his unruly mane, Jack's hair needed to be cut. It was especially fun trying to get food out of after every meal.

I loved his hair - his long, curly locks in the back and the "wings" over his ears added to his personality (as if he needed it), and it was cuter than anything.
But on May 15th, before church, we decided to give his head a buzz - and he has been a different boy since.

The before shots...

At first he was ok - with his candy stick in hand, and looking like a big boy in the mirror, he was ready to go.

Then he realized he couldn't move anywhere without falling off the stool... and he wasn't too sure. It was a good thing he had some candy to distract him.

He was not a happy boy.

Getting the back...

Once he was down from the stool, he was fine. When Chris made sure Jack knew that I had made a big step in cutting his hair, he was sure to make sure I was okay by giving me a big grin and letting me know he was happy.Look at that big belly.

He is the same Jack - but seems to be more of a "big boy" now. He is still the cutest thing I've ever seen.

The Hamilton Twins

Meet Elaine and Ellen.Lovers of ALL things. Especially babies.

When Chris and I moved into the Kenwood 2nd ward here in Millcreek, we knew practically no one. We began attending church when Jack was four months old (for NICU reasons), and among our first friends (the very first were those I met in the mother's lounge) were these sweet sisters.

I've never met anyone quite like these unique women. Along with being some of the most thoughtful, caring, loving people I know (and possibly in the world), they are proud. They know they are special, and they embrace their differences, letting nothing stop them from achieving anything they set their minds to (they have won gold medals in special olympic events). After thanking you for a compliment you've given them (and sometimes instead), they will say, "I know. " Or, "Yep." They love their family, their friends, and anyone who has spent more than two minutes with them are changed forever.

They are, first and foremost, OBSESSED with babies. Ellen is constantly asking me for baby magazines - they like to cut the babies out and put them on display - and when she dropped by for a visit one day, she asked for copies of all the pictures of Jack that I have on my wall.

It doesn't take long for the Hamilton twins to gravitate toward you when you have a baby in your arms... and, just as your life will change while spending time with them, your children will never be the same, either. They are amazing with them. Being unsure myself about their capabilities, all of my uncertainty quickly came to an end the minute Jack was placed into their arms. I watched in awe as their handicaps seem to all but disappear while playing with him, or rocking him to sleep (Ellen's awesome skills in this area has helping me out in Relief Society many times).

Jack and Ellen. I love the expression on her face.

Elaine with Jack

Because of their love for babies, and knowing their birthday was coming up (which they reminded me of several times), I wanted to do something special that had to do with their favorite thing in the world. In brainstorming a little with a friend in the ward, we decided to gather up photos of babies in the ward and put them together in some way for them to enjoy often. We put together a photo garland for each of them (they always must have two of each picture), and delivered it to them tonight.

Elaine was outside, just watching - waiting, I believe, for people to come. They expect visitors on their birthday, so they make it a point to stay home. When asking what they've been doing today, she replied, "Just waiting for people to come." They showed us, with pride, their gifts from visitors earlier today - including new pillow pets and blankets, and their new jewelry-making kits (another thing they love).

The look on each of their faces was not one I will soon forget when they opened our gifts.
Even in seeing the first picture, they were in awe. They looked at each picture one by one as if it was gold - and to them, it might as well be. Everything, to them, is special.


Among the countless lessons I have learned from these women, the most important are to enjoy a good hug - something they love to give. And, to tell those you love what they mean to you.

If there's one thing they love (aside from babies), it's to tell you how much they love you.
This was a conversation I had with Ellen tonight.
Ellen: (While holding me in a huge hug) "You know I love you so much?"
Me: "I do. Do you know I love you too?"
Ellen: "Yep. I love you forever, forever, forever, forever. I got you and you got me."


One thing is for sure. I definitely can't imagine not having either of them. Happy birthday Ellen and Elaine. I love you.

Goodbye, Friend

This is my cousin Jessica.I share many inside jokes with this young lady - one of which involves the items you see above... which explains why we are holding TV dinners (which, by the way, are nothing like they are pictured) and a $5 movie from Wal-Mart.

While I still haven't figured out why, she and her best friend Jeanette (who I also consider as part of my family) looked at me like I was their idol while growing up. While I was in high school and before my mission, I was a little unnerved at times by the way they wanted to be a part of my life, it seemed, in every way - including copying my handwriting and growing out their hair like mine. But, most of the time, it pushed me to want to be better. If I was being watched closely by someone who was around me as often as they were, I realized the way I presented myself needed to be better - in action, word and deed... which I'm not sure I accomplished.

Since returning from my mission, and in recent years, somehow the line between being just a cousin and a friend was crossed, and we've grown close. She is someone I always laugh with, talk to about anything, and because she lived with my parents while her husband was away with the Air Force, saw a lot.

Her husband is now stationed in Georgia, and they left last month to begin the next chapter of their lives. I'm so excited for her, and for the adventures that lay ahead!

You rock, Jessica. Thanks for staying positive and being someone I can look up to. You are missed, and I'm looking forward to seeing you soon!

Mom

As a mother of a one-year-old, I can't say my little one does everything we ask. It's quite the opposite, actually - whenever asked to say "mom," he replies with "dad." So it goes with most everything we ask him to do or not to do. This kid loves to push our buttons.

This Mother's Day morning, Chris got Jack out of bed and got his breakfast ready. He worked with Jack on the word "mom" (without much success), and let me get as much sleep as I could (though most of what I got was a healthy dose of Jack's voice getting excited over his yogurt).

When the two of them came to get me for the waffles Chris made for me (my favorite), he plopped Jack down on the bed and the I got the sweetest grin as my little boy sat still and looked at me for a moment (which is a miracle in itself). Then, when prompted to do so by his dad, he looked me in the eyes and said the sweetest word I've yet heard him utter. "Mom."

He was clearly satisfied with himself, as he gave me another big grin before getting smothered in my arms. It was possibly my favorite moment of my 15 months of motherhood - the memory of which I will forever have in my mind.

Thank you, Jack, for making me smile every day. I love being your mom.

Best. Cookbook. Ever.

While it's well worth the $25 from Deseret Book or the $21 from Seagull Book, I found mine at Costco for $15. Buy it. Use it. You won't be disappointed.

Bold.

Mario or Luigi?

Just going through some old photos... this one made me chuckle.

Hitting puberty at 4 months...