I've found that motherhood has its fair share of surprises.
For me, though I knew I was having a baby and was (somewhat) prepared for this stage of my life, Jack came early. Walking into my 34 week appointment and and being admitted to labor and delivery has rocked my world more than I had expected. Go figure.
Since then, there have been a number of surprises that have come along with Jack. First, though it was semi-expected, there was the NICU. Yes, we knew he'd need to stay for a few days, but 28 was not what we had in mind. And, just when we were finally getting used to visiting him in the hospital and accepting the fact that he still had a ways to go, we were told he could go home. They sprung it on us so fast, we were hardly ready.
Then there was the laundry. I knew there would be more... but, again, how much more was not what I expected, either. His first blow-out was a shocker, too. Who knew that a five pound baby could produce so much poop?
His calm demeanor and and chill personality have been a pleasant surprise. Sure, he cries - but aren't babies supposed to be harder to handle? It was a shocker at first to realize the lack of sleep I was in for, and to experience it, but now that he sleeps well and is getting bigger, he seems to be getting easier to take care of (or maybe I've just gotten the hang of things). I'm still worried when I drop him off somewhere that I will come back to a screaming baby and our sitter will tell me how difficult he was for them. But, no. He has always been so happy and just a go-with-the-flow kid. I realize that may change, but for now - we'll take it. We feel so blessed.
So, because the surprising events in the last six months have seemed to be endless, you'd think I'd be expecting them. But nothing could prepare me for the biggest of all... realizing that Jack is, in fact, growing up.
He still is a tiny little guy. He's the same size as most two-month-old babies. But, six months means he is now ready for solid foods. We have given him rice cereal, to get him used to the process of eating with a spoon - but it's more comical than anything. Between him grabbing the spoon and blowing bubbles into his food, it's been more of a hassle than I'd like to deal with.
So, as I stood standing in front of the baby food at the grocery store for the first time, I must have looked hopeless as I felt the tears welling in my eyes, some spilling over and streaming my cheeks. My baby is six months. I am not ready for this.
I am so proud of my son... he is doing incredibly well for being so early. And, over these six months, I have been so excited to tell others how old he is, wanting to tell them he's a little older, even - because I thought I was ready for him to grow up. Turns out, I'm not. I couldn't help but grab his little feet (I would have picked him up if not for the car seat he was in) and cry while feeling overwhelmed by it all. I can't stop him from growing.
I stared at the food for literally a good 10 minutes before even reaching for any. How in the world was I supposed to know what to do with it? When do I feed him? How much? What kinds? Do I mix it with anything? Does he need a combination of breastfeeding and food? For how long? The questions were endless, as I'm sure every first mother's questions are. I finally chose what I thought would work for him, tried to compose myself, and pushed my cart back down the isle and to the register, feeling dejected. I didn't know anything about this solid food stuff.
When I arrived at home, I tried to hold back the tears as I told Chris just how helpless I felt, but to no avail. He held me in his arms as I cried, and venting to him my frustration with it all. He understood, but helped me to see how exciting it is - and though I wanted to agree, it took me a while.
I now am warming up to the idea of solid foods... but I still don't know what I'm doing. I'll get there, I know. But I have to confess I'm not sure if I want to. Of course, I do realize I don't have a choice - but if I can hold off just a bit longer, I might not go quite as crazy.
Here's a look at Jack's six months... we love this little man!
Altaview Hospital, January 28, 2010
For me, though I knew I was having a baby and was (somewhat) prepared for this stage of my life, Jack came early. Walking into my 34 week appointment and and being admitted to labor and delivery has rocked my world more than I had expected. Go figure.
Since then, there have been a number of surprises that have come along with Jack. First, though it was semi-expected, there was the NICU. Yes, we knew he'd need to stay for a few days, but 28 was not what we had in mind. And, just when we were finally getting used to visiting him in the hospital and accepting the fact that he still had a ways to go, we were told he could go home. They sprung it on us so fast, we were hardly ready.
Then there was the laundry. I knew there would be more... but, again, how much more was not what I expected, either. His first blow-out was a shocker, too. Who knew that a five pound baby could produce so much poop?
His calm demeanor and and chill personality have been a pleasant surprise. Sure, he cries - but aren't babies supposed to be harder to handle? It was a shocker at first to realize the lack of sleep I was in for, and to experience it, but now that he sleeps well and is getting bigger, he seems to be getting easier to take care of (or maybe I've just gotten the hang of things). I'm still worried when I drop him off somewhere that I will come back to a screaming baby and our sitter will tell me how difficult he was for them. But, no. He has always been so happy and just a go-with-the-flow kid. I realize that may change, but for now - we'll take it. We feel so blessed.
So, because the surprising events in the last six months have seemed to be endless, you'd think I'd be expecting them. But nothing could prepare me for the biggest of all... realizing that Jack is, in fact, growing up.
He still is a tiny little guy. He's the same size as most two-month-old babies. But, six months means he is now ready for solid foods. We have given him rice cereal, to get him used to the process of eating with a spoon - but it's more comical than anything. Between him grabbing the spoon and blowing bubbles into his food, it's been more of a hassle than I'd like to deal with.
So, as I stood standing in front of the baby food at the grocery store for the first time, I must have looked hopeless as I felt the tears welling in my eyes, some spilling over and streaming my cheeks. My baby is six months. I am not ready for this.
I am so proud of my son... he is doing incredibly well for being so early. And, over these six months, I have been so excited to tell others how old he is, wanting to tell them he's a little older, even - because I thought I was ready for him to grow up. Turns out, I'm not. I couldn't help but grab his little feet (I would have picked him up if not for the car seat he was in) and cry while feeling overwhelmed by it all. I can't stop him from growing.
I stared at the food for literally a good 10 minutes before even reaching for any. How in the world was I supposed to know what to do with it? When do I feed him? How much? What kinds? Do I mix it with anything? Does he need a combination of breastfeeding and food? For how long? The questions were endless, as I'm sure every first mother's questions are. I finally chose what I thought would work for him, tried to compose myself, and pushed my cart back down the isle and to the register, feeling dejected. I didn't know anything about this solid food stuff.
When I arrived at home, I tried to hold back the tears as I told Chris just how helpless I felt, but to no avail. He held me in his arms as I cried, and venting to him my frustration with it all. He understood, but helped me to see how exciting it is - and though I wanted to agree, it took me a while.
I now am warming up to the idea of solid foods... but I still don't know what I'm doing. I'll get there, I know. But I have to confess I'm not sure if I want to. Of course, I do realize I don't have a choice - but if I can hold off just a bit longer, I might not go quite as crazy.
Here's a look at Jack's six months... we love this little man!
Altaview Hospital, January 28, 2010
Primary Children's NICU, February 2010
Home... March 2010
Home... March 2010
April
May
June
July
10 comments:
Oh my goodness, he is so sweet! I totally agree with you. I feel the same about Amanda. It just goes too fast. Someone told me once that if you are worried you aren't doing it right; that just means you are a good parent because you really care. I'll bet you guys are phenomenal!
Heidi....he's lucky to have a mommy like you.
What a cute baby boy!!!
P.S. You sound like a great mom! :)
He is getting so big. Mother hood really is all about the unexpected.I was shocked at how tired I was. I am hoping the second time around I am more prepared....but I bet it's always a surprise.
He is PRECIOUS- and so are YOU. Oh how I remember feeling the same way- so overwhelmed. That is why you need to rely on a support system- people who have been there before (like your sisters and friends).
It does not get any easier- every milestone breaks your heart, but it also makes you surge with pride.
When Cessna learned to ride her bike this year- or go down the water slides alone. The more she grows the more we can do together.
And Lance- don't get me started. He is my baby and he is now 4! Where does the time go?
It is bittersweet- just remember to SAVOR every moment, And it is so great that you are writing it all down. It will be wonderful to look back on those feelings later on.
P.S. So love you- and that nephew of mine!
He is so sweet!! I wish i cold tell you that its only like this with the first one, but its not, its only a little different.
Your an amazing mom because you feel this way, this moment totally sucks, you'll get there, you'll figure out what works for you as you go along. But enjoy every moment with him, you'll never get it like this again. yours a great mom!! you can see it in his little face!
Seriously, you have such a cute little boy! I can't quite comprehend how you are feeling... just yet... I am still waiting for my little one. You are such a trooper and I am so glad he is doing well!
So I guess there is something wrong with me--I get excited when they get older. I look forward to them learning to do more and more. When I read this I realized I need to be better at rellishing each moment as they come and enjoy each stage a little more (thought I am kind of over enjoying Bree's "i will do what I want to do when I want to do it" phase:)
But as I look at little Ty guy in his swing, I need to enjoy this age--he will never be it again. Thanks for the reminder.
As far as solids go--On Becoming Baby Wise 2. It is short and I think has great advise. Oh and you don't have to start him on solids yrt, there is no rush. Do it when you think he is ready. breast is still best for little man right now.
Love you and wish I could hold the little man!
Heidi! I can't believe it has been that long and I haven't hardly seen you two. We need to get together so that he isn't 1 year old before we meet up again! He is so adorable and kissable. You are an incredible mom and you will figure this all out. That's what is so fun about it all! Love to you and your sweet baby! Miss you tons! Love ya!
heidi i love so much! thanks for being such a great mom! makes me want to be a good grandpa! he is and always will be so much fun!
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