1.17.2011

Another Decade Gone...

And, it was perhaps the most important decade of the 27 years of my life.

The tradition in our family is to list the top events of the previous year, in addition to making resolutions for the next. Because 2011 marks a new decade, we named the most important happenings from the span of 2000-2010, which was quite a hefty list.

Included in most everyone's list was the birth of the first grandchild, the marriages, etc. I put down my biggest accomplishments: graduating high school, serving a mission and, of course, starting my own family.

While these big milestones are definitely important, defining moments in all of our lives, it's possible that what matters most is what lies ahead of us - who we choose to become from these experiences. We make these life-altering decisions and become these people because we are intended to become better because of, and through them.

When we graduate high school, a new world of endless possibilities is ours, in which we can explore to be whomever we choose when we "grow up." When we marry, we commit ourselves to be a faithful spouse. Marriage is a step towards parenthood; we can no longer successfully think of ourselves as one person when we are committed to another.

When we have a child, our lives are changed forever. We are required to think and act for another, because the infant in our arms cannot for themselves. It's not always easy (which I am reminded of constantly), but it's not supposed to be.

However, we are naturally pushed to the back burner when we become a parent, as we're supposed to. We live in a world where our children need to be reared in a selfless environment... the world will teach them selfishness, greed and ignorance. It is our job to instill in their minds the opposite.

What I've discovered, from my small dose of motherhood, that finding the joy is the secret. It's easy to get caught up in the feedings, the crying, the lack of sleep at night (for both the baby and yourself)... and, as the child grows, each stage has it's own challenges. It's a wonderful and difficult time for every parent. We are helping to shape Heavenly Father's children - why should it be easy?

This is where becoming a better person is not a choice... it's an inevitability. There aren't many people I know who haven't looked at themselves and asked, "how can I become better?" when they are faced with raising a child. I am on my knees in prayer daily, pleading to be the kind of mother I need to be for Jack. To raise him the way he needs in order to make important decisions in his life. I wonder who he will be, what he thinks of me, and how my relationship will be with him when he gets older. All of this helps me become the kind of person I want, and need, to be.

When we set goals, we are aspire to become someone new. Why try something new, if not for us becoming a better person? A new year is a fantastic time to re-evaluate ourselves and think about what more we could be doing. But even if we have already failed to keep our new years' resolutions three weeks into the year, tomorrow is a great day to start over. Why wait?

Among the several attempts I am continuously trying to achieve, such as paying off debt, exercising (a constant battle for me), being on time, etc, I really am trying to eat healthier, or eat less food, in general.

My son has made no such goal.
But the biggest goal I will attempt to achieve this year, and always, will be this: I want to be the mother my child needs, the mother he deserves. I want to become who the Lord intended me to be. And that is the best decision I will ever make.

4 comments:

Heather said...

Oh my heart.
Love this post! Such beautiful words and such a wonderful reminder I needed to hear.
I heart you and that little boy you are raising- he is blessed to call you Mom.

Dubb Days said...

I missed out on the top event the past decade?!! That would have been a good one. I always think of this tradition.
Great post. Love that you point out it isn' meant to be easy.
Love all the words. Love you:)
oh and love how big jacks mouth is--that's my boy!

Jeanette said...

"We live in a world where our children need to be reared in a selfless environment... the world will teach them selfishness, greed and ignorance. It is our job to instill in their minds the opposite." Very poetic, Heidi. You're writing is inspirational. Love it.

Jeanette said...

"We live in a world where our children need to be reared in a selfless environment... the world will teach them selfishness, greed and ignorance. It is our job to instill in their minds the opposite." Very poetic, Heidi. You're writing is inspirational. Love it.